SHOWER
DIVA – WHERE THE FUN REIGNS
Bachelorette
Bachelorette
Etiquette
Get
on up! It’s time to party like you’ve never partied before!
Bachelorette
Etiquette
Prepare
to throw the rules out and bring the booyahs in! Hup! Hup! This is no ordinary
tea party, ladies. We’re talking about the hottest, sexiest, wildest, glamour
bash on the planet!
The
Bride-To-Be’s Bachelorette Party (a.k.a. The Bachelorette) is a rite of passage
– it’s the bride’s last night out on the town as a single woman. It’s also a
major stress buster generally timed just before the wedding and is guaranteed
to bring a major emotional release.
No
matter what the Bride’s Bachelorette dream and theme turns out to be (barring a
staid tea party that is!), the code of bachelorette conduct begins—and ends—with
a vow of strict confidence!
Sisters,
let’s get it straight from the gate. The Bachelorette is THE party where no
matter what happens it remains a Sacred Trust between sisters. Forever!
So
pop the champagne cork! Fill the flutes! Let’s take the Bachelorette Oath of
Trust together, right now:
“I,
(state your name) do solemnly swear that as a woman of the world I will respect
and honor my sisters. I will not reveal the secrets of the evening. I
understand that violating this treatment will spread bad karma upon my being
and may result in increased bloating and cramping.
If
asked about the happenings of the evening I shall reply:
‘Oh,
you know, girl stuff, like opening presents and decorating the party with
streamers. The bride’s grandmother was there.”
Amen!
Yeah! Clink!
That
last sentence in the Oath of Trust, where you tell the groom’s guys about the decorating,
the presents and the streamers is a time-tested girl strategy! The minute the
guys hear the first word-decorating – they’re tuning out. The eyes glaze over.
The hand automatically reaches out for another beer. Remember those magic
words: “decorating”, “streamers”, and “gifts”. Put them together in one
sentence and you’ve got a perfect bachelorette alibi!
Okay, we’re got the Woman Code down. Now it’s time for Diva Darling Bachelorette Etiquette!
Okay, we’re got the Woman Code down. Now it’s time for Diva Darling Bachelorette Etiquette!
Who
Throws the Bachelorette?
Anyone
so long as she’s close friends with the bride. It could be her Maid-of-Honor,
one of her bridesmaids, college sorority sister, favorite cousin, or out of
town gal who is flying in before the wedding to pop for the bachelorette bop!
What’s
the Theme?
Sleuth
it out! Go one-to-one with the bride and tease out her fantasies. Ask her
questions and get her creative fires lit. “If you could have one wish in the world
fulfilled just before your wedding, what would it be?” Does that sound far
fetched? Not necessarily! Listen closely to what she says. If it’s something
unlikely to happen within a few days’ time—like ending all hunger on earth
forever—there’s a symbolic way to make this happen while doing some real good.
Perhaps
you’ll want to ask each bachelorette to make a financial contribution to OXFAM
or CARE or to the U.N. World Food Programme in the bride’s name! Present her
with a plaque or scroll and a small statuette at her Bachelorette and name her “Person
of the Year”. There are as many creative ways to make “out of this world”
fantasies come true then you might realize. It just takes imagination!
Perhaps
the bride’s fantasies are linked to exotic islands and plush spas. If none of
you can afford a Destination Bachelorette in the Bahamas Santa Margherita , Italy
By
now you should have the idea. Above all, get it clear from the beginning what
her levels of “wild and crazy” are. Not all bachelorettes want evenings on the
town that involve dirty dancing, male strippers, attention from guys and heavy
drinking. If your bride pal is on the more conservative side, plan an event
that matches her personality and honors her values.
Who
Gets Invited?
The
usual suspects, Chica! The bridesmaids, closest gal pals, favorite co-workers
or business partners, dear cousins, step-sisters, sorority sisters, you name
it! Just so long as the bride agrees ahead of time that the guest list is
filled with those who are emotionally close.
Diva
Rule:
Never invite anyone to the Bachelorette who isn’t also invited to the wedding.
That would be tacky beyond belief!
Note: If the Bachelorette is
anything other than a sedate high tea or evening where you sit around singing
hymns, you might want to lose the maiden aunt, grandmother or—heaven forbid—her
Mom or Mother-in-Law to be! If you’re planning a sexy lingerie and sex toys
style Bachelorette, would you want your staid maiden aunt – or first grade
teacher – sitting in a front row seat? I think NOT! We’re just talking common
sense here.
Bachelorette’s
usually don’t go over about 10-12 people. Ten or less is ideal. It’s easier to
accommodate the crowd in restaurants, bars, spas, hotel party suites (such as
those in Las Vegas), wineries for wine tastings, cooking classes, even at
Extreme Boot Camp (a new craze) if your Bride-to-Be wants a day of workin’ it
hard under military style pressure! Yeah, yeah, I know! There really are people
who like that sort of thing.
Who
Not to Invite
None
of the groom’s ex-girl friends, no matter how close you happen to be to them. Alcohol
and emotions running high could lead to upsets and (possibly) fights that I don’t
even want to think about.
Find
out from the bride if there is anyone she is dead set against inviting to her
party. For example, the bride’s parents may have social favors to pay off which
forces them into inviting the dreaded you-know-who to the wedding – someone like
the boss’s witchy daughter. But if the bride can’t stand the sight of her, she’s
not to set food anywhere near the bride or her bachelorettes!
When
do you hold the Bachelorette?
Please
don’t tell me you’re thinking of throwing the Bachelorette the night before the
ceremony! It’s way to close to the biggest day of her life –her wedding! She
needs to be rested, sober, centered and looking like a million bucks. So do her
bridesmaids! Her wedding photo is going to shine all revealing lights on her
and her wedding party. The very last thing the bride would want is to be photographed
with dark circles under her eyes and looking green around the edges. No way!
Sure, there’s Photoshop for those imperfections, but let’s try to remember that
there’s not a software program in the world that can eliminate how she feels.
If she feels sick at her wedding, not even a Renoir or Monet could reach inside
and paint away memories of a migraine headache!
Strive
to hold the Bachelorette anywhere from a week to two days before the wedding.
If the party needs to come down to the last minute, try and start early so you
can (fingers crossed!) get home earlier. Coordinating the Bachelorette to
coincide with the timing of the groom’s Bachelor Party is a great idea. That
way both bride and groom are freed up to attend other events where they both
need to be present.
Yes,
there are co-ed bachelorette/bachelor parties too! That’s a special theme which
we’ll take up elsewhere on The Shower Diva.
Save-the-Dates,
Invitations and RSVPs
Time
is premium the closer the bride gets to her wedding day. The same is true for
her attendants! Make sure you clear the party date well in advance with the
bride, then send out those every famous Save-the-Date cards. The same rules
apply for the planning phrase for the Bachelorette as for wedding shower
planning.
Diva
Rule –
Don’t let invitees try to switch dates and plans on you. The Bachelorette may
be a girls night out, but this time the party isn’t about “them.” It’s about
the Bride-to-Be. Good manners means everyone falls in line. You bet your booty
when it comes to be one of their turns, all the girlfriends are going to step
up to the plate for her too! This is the Woman’s Code of Honor.
What
About Gifts?
Optional!
Since the bachelorettes generally chip in a pre-set amount to cover most
expenses – including that all important sober limo driver – no additional
shower-type gift is required. However, jokes, favors, sexy nighties, sex toys
and the like are always welcomed – yeah! The more the merrier.
Budget
– Who Pays?
As
stated above, the Bachelorette is usually a shared expense divided among all
the invitees. By the time the Bachelorette rolls around, the Maid-of-Honor (the
lady who gave the bride her bridal shower) is most likely to be tapped out financially.
Even if all the bride’s attendants chipped in for her shower, too. The more
expenses you can pool, the easier it is on all concerned. Share, share, and
share some more! You’re bound to have a glorious experience!
Here’s
a partial list of the typical expenses bachelorettes usually spring for.
Remember: The Bride-to-Be never, ever pays for a thing!
˜Transportation (Limos,
Taxis, Trains)
˜Food and Drinks
˜Entertainment, such as a
comedy club, Vegas headliner act
˜Exotic entertainment
(strippers)
˜Overnight accommodations
˜Favors (they’re a must for
memories!)
˜Gifts, if desired, for the
bride such as lingerie, sex toys, etc.
˜Entrance fees – amusement parks,
museums, etc.
˜Party incidentals – See’s
Chocolate! (Forget Godiva, See’s is the best!)
If
you’re hanging out in a hotel suite or weekending at an upscale spa, or even
chilling at someone’s house, here are some other expense considerations
˜Sexy videos
˜Champagne and gorgeous
champagne glasses
˜Romantic CDs of the
Bride-to-Be’s favorite music
˜Body Paints
˜Whipped Cream
˜Romantic poetry
˜A sex manual!
˜Props – Pull Out All The
Stops!
If
you’re going out on the town or even if you’re staying in, check out a great
tutorial at The Knot on The 7 Things You Must Have at a Bachelorette Party.
Keep in mind before you click on the link that this is not for the prude or
faint of heart – it’s very racy staff. If it’s not appropriate for the kind of
Bachelorette the bride wants, skip it. Unless you’re curious of course!
The
camera rule is all-important. Digital and disposable cameras ONLY. The Maid of
Honor is in charge of confiscating all disposable cameras at the end of the
evening. And all digital images must be approved before leaving the room. That
way no unflattering pictures get printed and circulated at the wedding. Tacky
beyond belief! – but you know WHAT? Things like that do happen.
But
not on our watch here at The Shower Diva
Yahoo!
I wish I was going out with you!
